Too far to be seen.
No I am not invisible.
But my heart can't really say the same.
I am looking at this thing in the mirror trying to analyze it.
This thing just happens to be me.
If I can't see what I'm supposed to be then how can they or He.
How could that be? You know my destiny?
you say I'm pretending to feel this frustration creep up my spine at every opportunity.
I think I know me more than any prognosis.
Not to be rude but I just can't understand how this is normal.
The tears that fall and the emotions I feel.
Is it that my heart is softening?
What if I told you my heart already had it's funeral.
When everyone laughed at what I wanted to do.
I took the actor position and played the part everyone thought I should play.
I was pretty good, and still am.
I now love acting, I'm good at it.
I love the piano and the sax.
But when I left the Northwest, that love died with an axe.
I'm still good but I can be better.
This blog was supposed to be a poem.
Now its seeming more like a letter.
Letter to whom, I suppose I don't know.
Maybe to my heart that seems to be 6 ft under.
What would be the point of writing to something dead?
Maybe it is to the heart that I hope to receive during this transplant.
Or maybe my old heart can be resurrected.
Or maybe someone can reach in between.
In between the dirt and the coffin my heart was buried in.
To somehow pull out my heart.
The heart that once was able to love.
This isn't about my love for piano, sax and acting.
This is about me having my old heart back.
I want to let go of culture and grasp onto Love, real Love.
Sincerely,
Hope.
Acting, Piano and the Sax are my loves.
God needs to be my first love so I can do these things for Him.
#heartspill
